Review: 'Sponge on the Run' saddles our familiar cartoon friend with creepy 3D animation and a crass plug for a new show

There’s a foul odor of barnacles attached to the latest movie starring that most famous of sponges, SpongeBob SquarePants — and not because “The SpongeBob Movie: Sponge on the Run” has been sitting on the shelf for a year, another stalled release during the COVID-19 pandemic.

No, the stale, dank smell emanates from the fact that director Tim Hill — who directed “The SpongeBob SquarePants” movie back in 2004, and has gone on to such abominations as “Alvin & The Chipmunks,” “Hop” and last year’s “The War With Grandpa” — is trying to serve his corporate masters more than the fans who truly love the hyper-cheerful sponge.

The new film spends entirely too much time re-introducing us to characters we’re quite familiar with — can you believe it’s been 22 years since Stephen Hillenburg (who died in 2018, and to whom the movie is dedicated) first created little yellow guy? Hill narrates the overlong introduction, where we again meet SpongeBob (voiced by Tom Kenny), his not-too-bright pal Patrick Star (voiced by Bill Fagerbakke), depressed Squidward (voiced by Rodger Bumpass), spacesuit-wearing inventor Sandy Cheeks (voiced by Carolyn Lawrence), greedy burger entrepreneur Mr. Krabs (voiced by Clancy Brown), and Krabs’ scheming competitor, Plankton (voiced by Mr. Lawrence).

When the plot kicks in, finally, it’s a familiar one: SpongeBob’s pet snail, Gary, goes missing, and SpongeBob is beside himself with grief. So he and Patrick hit the road, in a boat-car driven by Sandy’s new robot, Otto (voiced by Awkwafina). Eventually they arrive in the Lost City of Atlantic City, where King Poseidon (voiced by Matt Berry) needs Gary’s slime trail to complete his skin-care regimen.

But it’s not the recycling of old “SpongeBob” plot points that feels off. It’s the computer-generated animation, which gives an unsettling, claymation-like look to characters who were more charming in the flat, simple two-dimensional line animation of the series and first movie.

The new film carries on the franchise’s tradition of offbeat performances by live-action actors — this time with mixed results. Keanu Reeves’ head makes regular appearances as a magical wisdom-granting tumbleweed named Sage, which provides some offbeat humor. But Danny Trejo’s moment as a feared outlaw is underwhelming, coming as it does after a Snoop Dogg cameo that’s weirder than what one imagines for a PG-rated kids’ movie.

Worst of all, just when you think this movie can’t introduce these characters to us again, it does — as little kids at summer camp. These boring flashback scenes are, it turns out, an embedded advertisement for “Kamp Koral,” a new animated series also debuting on Paramount+ when the new streaming network launches on March 4. Just give me the reruns, in glorious flat animation.

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’The SpongeBob Movie: Sponge on the Run’

★★

Available for streaming starting Thursday, March 4, on Paramount+. Rated PG for rude humor, some thematic elements, and mild language. Running time: 91 minutes.